To See What You See by takerzmuse

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5
Published: 16/11/2003
Last Updated: 16/11/2003
Status: Completed

What do you see when you look at me?




1. To See What You See
----------------------

[Title] - To See What You See
[Author] - Grasshopper (A.K.A. The Undertaker's Muse)
[Email] - uber_bitch13@yahoo.com

[Rated] - PG-13
[Warnings] - Angst.
[Category] - Harry Potter
[Spoilers] - Book two, mainly. The slightest bit for book five; nothing major, though.
[Pairings] - Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley
[Summary] - What do you see when you look at me?
[Author's Notes] - This is my first HP fic, so be honest and tell me what you think. I welcome
all feedback, including (and especially!) flames.
[Disclaimer] - The only think I own is the plot. All things �Harry Potter� belong to J. K. Rowling.
Title and lyrics are from �Instead� by Stacie Orrico.





*A new point of view
A walk in your shoes
I wish I could get inside your head
To see what you see
When you look at me
Cause I could�ve lived your life instead*





What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see �that Weasel girl�? The tagalong little sister, who no one really wants around? Is my
Weasley-red hair and ragged Gryffindor robes the only things you see? Is that what makes you turn
away in disgust?

Or maybe you see �Potter�s little girlfriend�? You know it�s not true, but still continue down
that particular path of ridicule. Merlin, I can barely stand to *look* at Harry these days
without marveling at my own stupidity. Harry never wanted me, I understood that long ago�but the
realization that *I* never really wanted Harry was astounding. By the time I figured that out,
I�d wasted a lot of time on him. Luckily, he never seemed to notice *why* I acted the way I
did around him. I think Hermione told him, though�

I could go into all the ways he�s now more like another brother, but I truly do not wish to bore
you any more than I likely will.

Perhaps you see me as �Ron�s little sister�? A true statement, I know, but� You seem to dislike
Ron even more than you do Harry, and that�s not something I ever believed possible. Ron seems to
irritate you on a level that no one else gets to. What did he do to cause that? Not that I don�t
think he would or could do something, believe you me I know what my brother�s like, but I wonder� I
wonder just what he did to cause that kind of hatred. Am I just another way to get at him? A
living, breathing target for your frustrations?

Am I �the mudblood�s best friend�? That *isn�t* true, by the way. �Mione, Ron, and Harry
are quite happy to spend the rest of their lives looking out for one another in the way only the
best of friends do. I� I�m stuck in the category of little sister and friendly acquaintance. She
cares for me in her own way, but if it came down to a choice she would choose my brother and Harry
over me in an instant.

Or maybe� Maybe your disgust comes from the truth. The truth and reality of just who Virginia
Anne Weasley is. Who I am now and who I always will be. The truth is, I�m a pureblooded witch. I�m
from a rather poor family. I have no particular prejudices; especially not in the case of muggles
and muggle-born. I�m a Gryffindor, through and through. I�m�much more than everyone believes me to
be.

I�m *not* simply the only female among my siblings. I�m *not* just another impulsive
Gryffindor. I am *not* to be measured next to the people I�m surrounded by. I am my own person
and deserve to be treated with due respect! I am smart, brave, and a damn good Seeker. With so many
brothers, I learned to defend myself as well as to hide my emotions. Couldn�t let the twins know
how embarrassed I was� Couldn�t let Ron know about my crush on Harry� Couldn�t let Percy know he
was a bloody stupid git for hurting Mum and Dad like that�

Sorry, I�m getting off topic. I�ll try not to do that again.

I could have been in Slytherin, y�know. I should�ve been. If I hadn�t been so worried about my
family�s reaction, I never would�ve insisted upon Gryffindor. I wanted to be unique; to be
*known*. What better way than for a *Weasley* to be sorted into Slytherin? But I could
just hear Mum�s voice, screeching about the indignity of it all. I could see my father�s stern
face, letting my know his disappointment by remaining silent. I didn�t care overmuch how my
brothers would react, but I knew when Ron found out he�d be absolutely *furious*. At that
point, I wasn�t sure enough about myself to take a risk like that. So I joined the ranks of the
brave and became a Gryffindor.

But I do wonder� I wonder how my first year would�ve gone then, if I *had* been a
Slytherin. Would your father still have given me Voldemort�s diary? Would Tom still have used me to
do all of those terrible things? Would I still have been everyone�s pawn? Would you have seen me as
my own entity, rather than an extension of others? Or would I remain as I am now�a silly little
girl not fit to lick the mud from your boots?

What a first year I had, eh? Oh, what a silly little girl I was then�smitten with the one person
who would *never* notice me, possessed by the teenaged spirit of the Dark Lord, and yet more
fodder for your feud with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I just wish you could have hated me upon my own
merit, not because of who I was related to. If I, myself, had done something to truly piss you off,
I could have understood�but there was nothing. Nothing at all.

So, I�m left to wondering� And wondering isn�t the best thing for a person, you know. It brings
so many thoughts to mind that one can�t block out painful memories. It all just bubbles up to the
surface and is there for scrutiny.

Again, I seem to be getting off the subject. You bring that out in me, I suppose. But I�d best
leave things right here, for now. Just one last thing�

What do you see when you look at me, Draco? What do you see?




**[The End]**



